There’s this misconception that if you do all the right things, the right way, in the right order, then you will be rewarded and fulfilled and will experience eternal happiness. Or if you make 6 figures a year, everything else will fall into place. Or finding your soulmate will be the cure to all your problems. I feel like these are all such delusional beliefs. Some of these may uncomplicate certain aspects of our lives to an extent, but by 21, I’ve definitely found that genuine happiness comes from within.
“People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you’re fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly.” -Elizabeth Gilbert
“People can only love you from their own level of consciousness.” Understand that everyone has a different script in life. Everyone evolves at a different pace. But the bottom line is that the way people treat you is truly a direct reflection of how they feel towards themselves. How much time someone has invested in themselves & their growth process can be obvious. When this resonates, it becomes easy to let things go.
“Love yourself” is advice you’re swarmed with so much that it can easily lose it’s true meaning. You hear it, and you’re like “Uh, I’m me and I do love being me. I’m super blessed.” and so you write it off. Me being the stubborn person I am, any hint of advice goes in one ear, and out the other. And those are two words I gave no true meaning of my own to for pretty much forever, and I didn’t really know it. The reality of not loving yourself is destructive. To yourself and others. “Hurt people hurt people.” It doesn’t easily differentiate right from wrong. It clouds you from your own better judgement. It settles. It chases. It’s sometimes hostile. It’s unstable. Just being aware may never initiate growth. I believe there are times that life will break people down to nothing, to give them the opportunity to become the person they want/need to become. When those moments happen to you, you’re given a chance to redefine everything you thought you knew. Most importantly, outlining what you will tolerate and let into your realm of peace. I believe happiness begins with loving yourself, and knowing what you want.
Striving for happiness means there is no room for resentment. Forgive others…this has nothing to do with them, but it’s necessary for your well-being. And while harboring that negative energy can destroy you, it’s only half as bad as holding onto negative people. Let people go.
“I will not make space in the cracks and crevices of my heart for people who don’t belong. I won’t prioritize someone when I’m not a priority to them. I will not apologize when I’m not wrong. I will not spend money on a person who can’t spend time with me. I will not be there because you are alone. I will not be a shoulder to cry on because you push others away. I will not give you advice you refuse to take. I don’t need any more people taking away the substance from my heart, downsizing it, and leaving me with nothing. I refuse to allow myself to feel numb because of the carelessness other’s show to our hearts. I will just remove myself from the equation. I’m absolutely intolerant of these things.”
Getting to a place of inner peace is only half the battle, while maintaining it is the other half. This is something I have had to come to terms with myself. Being genuinely happy in a given moment can feel unshakable. It’s easy to have total confidence in your emotions when they are so overwhelmingly positive. It just radiates from you. But inevitably there are twists, and turns, and curveballs that all have the power to discourage you. And there are people out there who will totally deplete your energy. Maintaining this sense of peace by dedicating yourself to being an ever growing and ever changing soul, is vital to your happiness, and it requires conscious effort. Emotions are temporary and unreliable, and knowing this will help you find balance.
And that’s how you live. You wake up every morning with a choice. You choose to adopt a positive attitude. You choose to find beauty in the small things. You choose to set your standards high, and your goals higher. You release any bad energy instead of bottling it in. It’s so important to be self aware. Happiness really, truly is the result of personal effort. Let go of negative thought patterns and replace them with kinder, more gentle thoughts. When you consciously make the decision to be happy, and choose other happy and loving people to surround yourself with, you’ll find yourself more easily maintaining that level of energy. It only takes effort on your part.